I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
