maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
