Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
