it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize