What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
