I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
