I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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