I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
accomplished twins. life is a go
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just had sex on a roof
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
