Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
