Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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