I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
