I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize