I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
