Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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