I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize