jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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