I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
