I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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