I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize