you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
