Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
