you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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