yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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