How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
