why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
