dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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