can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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