John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
