When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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