Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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