oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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