i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
