Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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