yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
