She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
