You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I want is dick and wine.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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