Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I touched a dick in church today
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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