I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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