Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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