There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
