College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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