Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
