super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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