weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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