You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
