on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
