she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i will never coherently bang her
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
