u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
