I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
