just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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