I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
