recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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