Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
