I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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