Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
