using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I lost the right to judge tonight
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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