just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
