i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
