Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
