I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
