I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
