This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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