Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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