Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
