I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize