I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
