we made out on top of his cat.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize