Whod you bang
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
