you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
