It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
