Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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